My husband and I are in our early 30s. We are both lucky to have well-paying careers. With no children or major obligations yet, we’re happy to pick up the check most of the time we’re out to dinner with our families. My in-laws rarely offer to pay, even though they usually invite us. This is mildly annoying, but O.K. What’s really frustrating is that after the meal they only thank my husband — and never me! I wish my in-laws would recognize that, as a working woman, I am contributing financially to our dinners — and thank me, too. Is this something I need to get over?
Yes, get over it — but after you handle it. (I freaked you out there for a second, didn’t I?) Grant me two assumptions about these dinners with your in-laws: Your husband is probably the one who whips out his credit card at the end of the evening. (Because how bizarre would it be if you visibly paid the bill, and they still didn’t thank you?)
I would also guess that you and your husband have never had a conversation with your in-laws about your finances — whether they are joint or separate, for example — because why would you discuss that with them? In the absence of such knowledge, thanking the person who hands over the money is a pretty safe bet. It also conforms to the outdated notion of husbands as primary wage earners.
The next time you’re out to dinner with them, why don’t you pay? I bet they’ll thank you. If they don’t, say: “You’re welcome!” when they gush to your husband as you sign the bill. This approach also works for stay-at-home spouses whose outsize contributions to households often go unappreciated.
I get hammered by readers when I answer questions like this. Still, I persist. As parents, it is your job to keep your baby safe. The perils of secondhand smoke are well known. Thirdhand smoke (the toxic residue left on furniture and other surfaces by cigarette smoke) is less often discussed. But it is particularly dangerous to babies, who are famous for touching things and then putting their fingers into their mouths.
Please don’t forget that last paragraph when I add: It is also valuable for your child to have a loving relationship with her grandmother. I doubt that your mother-in-law means to endanger her family. Isn’t it more likely that she’s skeptical of science (Hello, climate change deniers!) or defensive about her inability to quit smoking?
The question for you and your ostrich husband is how to balance safety with family. You probably won’t change her mind about the dangers of smoking to herself and others. But it would be a shame to keep her from knowing your child. How about limiting her visits to your place (where she will not smoke), with a smoke-free sweater on hand for when she holds the baby? It’s a touch elaborate, but compromises often are.
My husband and I manage our finances separately because we have different approaches to money: He saves, and I spend. He got a big bonus at work and offered me half, provided I use it to pay off part of my credit card debt. I would rather take a vacation. He thinks he’s being generous. But I say gifts with strings are not gifts at all. You?
You are both correct. He is being generous, and you are not receiving a gift so much as a lifeline to help with your wanton and unsupportable spending. (Credit card interest rates are high!) Accept his kind offer and thank him sincerely.
For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com, to Philip Galanes on Facebook or @SocialQPhilip on Twitter.B:
双色球57期开奖结果【司】【澜】【双】【眸】【微】【眯】，【现】【在】【这】【样】【势】【均】【力】【敌】【并】【不】【能】【帮】【他】【拿】【到】【后】【半】【本】【禁】【书】，【唯】【有】……【以】【暴】【制】【暴】！ 【言】【阳】【看】【着】【司】【澜】【的】【头】【发】【一】【点】【一】【点】【变】【化】【成】【雪】【白】【色】，【只】【要】【他】【的】【眼】【睛】【变】【化】【成】【红】【色】【的】，【他】【的】【身】【份】【就】【确】【定】【了】，【制】【服】【这】【个】【天】【道】【不】【难】，【只】【是】…… 【言】【阳】【咬】【咬】【牙】，【最】【后】【身】【影】【牟】【然】【消】【失】【不】【见】，【于】【此】【同】【时】，【上】【面】【多】【了】【一】【个】【太】【阳】，【说】【是】【太】【阳】【其】【实】【不】【是】【太】【阳】
【帝】【玄】【擎】【看】【了】【看】【叶】【瑾】，【目】【光】【深】【沉】：“【本】【王】【去】，【瑾】【儿】，【你】【留】【在】【擎】【王】【府】！” “【不】，【我】【也】【去】！”【叶】【瑾】【语】【气】【很】【坚】【决】。 【帝】【玄】【擎】【也】【早】【已】【从】【她】【的】【表】【现】【中】【知】【道】，【她】【想】【同】【去】。【但】【是】，【战】【争】【本】【就】【危】【险】，【现】【在】【又】【有】【这】【威】【力】【无】【穷】【的】【炸】【药】，【危】【险】【更】【是】【扩】【大】【了】【数】【倍】。 【而】【且】，【帝】【陌】【泽】【的】【目】【标】【本】【就】【是】【她】，【她】【去】，【岂】【不】【是】【正】【中】【帝】【陌】【泽】【的】【下】【怀】？【帝】【陌】【泽】
【因】【为】【白】【遇】【离】【开】【离】【域】【的】【消】【息】【迅】【速】【地】【传】【播】【开】【来】，【现】【在】【到】【处】【都】【有】【打】【听】【白】【遇】【消】【息】【的】【人】。 【玉】【鲲】【城】【因】【为】【拍】【卖】【会】【涌】【进】【来】【大】【量】【的】【修】【士】，【现】【在】【不】【仅】【没】【有】【散】【去】，【反】【而】【有】【越】【聚】【越】【多】【的】【架】【势】。 【慕】【凰】【等】【天】【衍】【宗】【的】【人】【也】【没】【离】【开】，【过】【了】【几】【日】，【他】【就】【约】【程】【九】【瑶】【见】【面】，【特】【意】【跟】【她】【讲】【了】【现】【在】【外】【面】【的】【情】【形】，【让】【她】【多】【加】【小】【心】。 【程】【九】【瑶】【打】【量】【着】【慕】【凰】【的】【起】【色】【不】
【诸】【天】【学】【院】【后】【山】！ 【云】【琛】【看】【着】【虚】【空】【中】【呈】【现】【出】【来】【的】【轮】【回】【画】【面】。 【看】【着】【摔】【死】【在】【悬】【崖】【下】【的】【独】【孤】【求】【败】，【一】【时】【间】【陷】【入】【了】【无】【言】【之】【中】。 【独】【孤】【求】【败】【成】【功】【了】【也】【失】【败】【了】。 【生】【死】【之】【间】【有】【大】【恐】【怖】，【亦】【有】【大】【机】【缘】。 【在】【生】【与】【死】【的】【刹】【那】【之】【间】，【独】【孤】【求】【败】【从】【轮】【回】【中】【找】【到】【了】【自】【我】，【在】【生】【死】【之】【间】【唤】【醒】【了】【深】【藏】【在】【灵】【魂】【之】【中】【的】【剑】【心】。 【从】【而】【突】【破】【了】【第】双色球57期开奖结果【检】【验】【一】【对】【情】【侣】【是】【不】【是】【真】【心】【相】【爱】，【其】【实】【最】【好】【的】【办】【法】【就】【是】【分】【开】，【分】【开】【之】【后】【如】【果】【不】【舍】【如】【果】【留】【恋】，【那】【就】【重】【新】【在】【一】【起】【吧】，【不】【要】【做】【出】【违】【背】【自】【己】【内】【心】【的】【决】【定】。【但】【是】【分】【开】【容】【易】，【思】【念】【也】【很】【痛】【苦】，【但】【是】【复】【合】【却】【是】【没】【有】【那】【么】【简】【单】【的】【一】【件】【事】【情】。【有】【些】【人】【一】【旦】【离】【开】【了】，【若】【是】【想】【要】【他】【们】【回】【头】，【其】【实】【概】【率】【几】【乎】【为】【零】。【分】【手】【了】【就】【绝】【不】【回】【头】，【这】【些】【星】【座】【的】【人】【无】【论】【如】【何】【也】【不】【会】【吃】【回】【头】【草】。
“【那】【万】【一】，【他】【要】【是】【就】【这】【样】【一】【去】【不】【会】，【怎】【样】【办】？” 【嗯】~~~！ 【简】【直】【就】【在】【韩】【关】【等】【人】【处】【理】【蒙】【吉】【利】【王】【国】【血】【祸】【的】【同】【一】【时】【间】。 【灭】【苍】【生】【心】【中】【泛】【起】【波】【涛】，【不】【过】【也】【仅】【仅】【就】【是】【波】【涛】。 【小】【情】【人】？ 【韩】【关】【轻】【轻】【點】【瞭】【點】【頭】，【可】【以】【佈】【置】【齣】【這】【種】【险】【地】【的】【人】，【確】【實】【很】【聰】【明】，【而】【且】【對】【阵】【法】【的】【瞭】【解】【非】【常】【深】【入】，【法】【寶】【壓】【阵】，【阵】【閤】【自】【然】，【這】【種】【人】【肯】